Preparation

I still cannot believe this school year is already coming to an end. I feel like it was just yesterday I was moving back to Cedar. Now it's almost May and some of us are graduating, getting married, or serving missions. Isn't it crazy where life takes us? Who would have thought I would be where I'm at today?

Now that I only have 2 finals this week, I have time to start really preparing for my mission. Does anyone have any good suggestions on what to do? What to read? I have been reading talks by the apostles and prophets, my scriptures, and Preach My Gospel. Any suggestions other than reading would be greatly appreciated, too.

I have 36 days left until I report the the MTC. I keep hearing that going on a mission is the best thing; there isn't a worry in the world about yourself. I get to concentrate on His children and bring them back to Him. I seriously cannot wait.

Modeling my clothes for Jessica and I put the "future missionary"
tag that I have. Holla.

If you guys haven't yet known, my farewell is on May 20th at 1:00. If you want to come, join my page on Facebook and I will make sure there is plenty of food for you.

Well, all, good luck on finals. Also good luck with all that you're doing.

Much love.

Some favorites

This weather has been beautiful. When I have nothing to do in the winter, all I want to do is sleep. Now that the weather is gorgeous, I don't want to be inside. A few days ago, I went on a walk around campus and took some fun pictures.

Some are from Spring Break, too. Enjoy!

This is right when we got to California 

The things they catch lobsters with

This is why I love Spring so much

I love the Temple.

The beautiful St George Temple

Well there you have it. I love flowers and Temples if you can't tell.

Good luck with the last week of classes.

Lovely

Have you heard the song Lovely by Sara Haze? I'm sure you have. I'm just clearly out of the loop.

It's one of those songs that make me feel better about myself when I feel not so beautiful, not worth it, lonely, useless... yeah you get the point. Music really helps me get through whatever feeling I'm encountering so of course this song speaks louder than it might to you. I have heard it a handful of times before but I really listened to it today while I was on Pandora. Well...now it's on repeat.

Let's clear this up. I'm going on a mission in 46 days and I couldn't be any more excited. However, when people tell me not to feel discouraged if something doesn't work out because I'm going on a mission, that's not going to help the way I'm feeling. I understand that I need to focus on preparing to serve and trust me, I am trying the hardest I can but it doesn't freeze those emotions I get. I'm still "crushing," I still get stressed out when I think of my future, and still have financial burdens. The list goes on.

Because I keep hearing this typical response, I just end up keeping things to myself. Well, that's not how I deal with stress. I need to talk about it with people. Well my friend Jessica and I hung out tonight and I got to vent to her about a lot of things and told her that I can't freeze my emotions. She was totally understandable. She gave me advice but mostly listened. I was so grateful.

In my last post about pride, I talked about how I looked at everyone and the things they have and I sometimes am jealous of what they have. Well, I need to stop that. I need to stop listening to those people around me who make me feel like I'm nothing (sad to say I have people like that in my life).

I know this song is most likely directed to an ex boyfriend or whatever but it can be to whoever, really.

And what gives you the right
To tell me who I should be
Who gave you that right

...

I know you want the best
Yeah only good things for me
But you have to realize
I can't be all these things you project on me
Cause I'm beautiful to me
Doesn't that mean a thing
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sara_haze/lovely.html ]
I feel lovely

Does this post even make sense? If it doesn't, just listen to the song. I love it. 

Spiritual thought (pride)

Today I decided that it would probably be a good idea to start studying more to prepare for my mission. To do that I read Beware of Pride by Ezra Taft Benson, read my scriptures (Alma), and Chapter 2 of Preach My Gospel.

If you haven't read Beware of Pride, I would commend you to do so. It is beautiful. As I was reading it I couldn't stop highlighting. If I could, I would have colored that entire page yellow (I guess I could have... it was that good.).I learned so much within that thirty minutes. It has been an answer to my prayers.

I hope as I'm sharing with you my insights on what I have learned tonight, I don't sound hypocritical. If I do, that's not what I'm trying to do. 

We are all guilty of being prideful. There are those people who say that they are right, that they are better than certain people-- "it's their fault that they are who they are," you usually hear them say. They try and get God to accommodate to what they are thinking. Well, friends, we can't do that. Pride turns into being proud. "The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren't interested in changing their opinions to agree with God's." That is so sad. But also so true.

I am sad to say that I have done this. Like I said though, it has been an answer to my prayers. A couple years ago I remember buying a Starbucks coffee for a drive to St George. I remember thinking, I don't get why coffee is so bad-- why the Church looks down on it. I only drink it every so often. That, right there, is where I made a  mistake. God gave us the Word of Wisdom for a reason. I shouldn't have to justify it. I have said that about a few things and this talk has really helped me receive an answer. Humbled!

Then there are those people who try and one up one another. "Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive rather than to try to elevate ourselves above our brother and outdo another?"

Lately, I have had a hard time to forgive those who put me down in my past. In high school there were people who would treat me differently. My family didn't have tons of money, nice things, and I didn't play sports. Even today I see those who used to treat me differently and just get upset. Elder Benson talks about those who gossip, who back stab, envy, and covet-- that's pride from the bottom looking up.

I gossip. I look around at those things others have and wish I had that. I am going to try hard to not do that anymore. It's going to be tough but I'm challenging myself with this. I can do it.

Then there's the worldly attractions and those material things you "have" to have to be accepted. "The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost."

We all probably know someone who is a materialistic type of person-- has to have all the new stuff to feel accepted by the world and those of it. If someone isn't up on the latest fashion trends or have the newest smart phones, they are looked down on. "Pride is ugly. It says, 'If you succeed, I am a failure.'" I will admit that I have wanted the newest things. I will be the first to admit. I wish I didn't though. I need to learn to appreciate what I do have.

"The antidote for pride is humility-- meekness, submissiveness. It is the broken heart and contrite spirit."

After reading this talk and feeling bad for all that I have done, I hope I can change my views on things. I don't want to be a prideful, proud person.

"We can choose to humble ourselves by loving God, submitting our will to His, and putting Him first in our lives." I'm going to strive to live by the quote everyday.

Again, go read this talk if you have time.

52 days. 7 1/2 weeks.

I can't wait to be out in the field. 

General Conference

Did everyone love General Conference? I sure did. This time, I was able to stay awake through all of the sessions. Taking notes really does help me stay focused on the talks. However, I always love going back and reading them in the Ensign-- I always learn so much more.

Well I'm going to share some insights that I learned. I think it's neat to see General Conference in a different perspective (being endowed and preparing to go on a mission). I learned so much this Conference. I'm so happy!

I have learned this morning that I need to forgive. I always say to myself that I have forgiven a certain person but I feel like it's just words. No meaning behind it. I want to change that. I have people that left me feeling betrayed and hurt. I'm trying to forgive so I go on my mission with the pure love of Christ with no contention in my heart.

"No sacrifice is too great in order to receive the blessings of the Temple." - Dallan H Oaks
This is so true. I have learned to love and appreciate the Temple so much more. It's there for us to go leave the worldly attractions behind and build our relationship with Heavenly Father. Just go. You will get those blessings.

"Don't be overcome by evil, overcome the evil." - Dieter F. Uchtodorf 
Satan is so aware of us. It is so easy to just slip onto his side of the path and stay there. However, it's worth it to stand up and stay upon Heavenly Father's path.

"The prize belongs to him who endures to the end." - Thomas S. Monson
I love the Prophet. I really like how he said this. Living with our loved ones and being with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, will indeed be the ultimate prize.

"He will do for us the things we cannot do for ourselves." - Neil L. Andersen 
This is just purely amazing. I loved this entire talk. It was a great way to end conference.

Those were a few of my favorite quotes from this Conference. I feel like I have learned so much this time. I have opened my heart and mind to what I learned today and am challenging myself to live the words I heard.

What are you guys' favorite highlights from General Conference? Please share!

Follow the Prophet, he knows the way!