Earth To Mary...

This is what I found out after I posted what I wrote last. I didn't want to delete the last post because... well I don't want to. It will make sense if you read both of them. They are long but eh. Like I said before, you don't have to read these. ha

What I find beautiful in the Church and its works is that after you humbly pray with full heart and full intention, something that you said or something that someone said to you awhile ago pops in your mind, or a scripture stands out most to you when you're reading your scriptures, or a simple yet most comforting feeling comes to you when you are crying to our Lord for courage and strength to get through the next day. Sorry, I know this is getting personal but I just prayed and literally cried and asked Him to simply be with me. I know He's always there. As I write this I think back to a time where a girl Amanda said that the Lord is always there. However, when we do something that let's say "bothers" Him, He'll just leave the room. I feel like He knows me the best. I feel most comfortable when I'm centered around Christ. When I'm not, I start thinking differently about myself- where my life will end up at- and I feel His presence start fading away. What can I do to bring Him back? I do exactly what I'm supposed to do. I pray to Him asking for His hand, I read my scriptures and pay attention; not let those worldly attractions get the best of me, and I center myself around Him. Right now I'm reading the scriptures. I read a scripture that was an instant answer. Not kidding. I prayed then started reading then came across this scripture: "But behold, he did deliver them because they did humble themselves before him; and because they cried mightily unto him he did deliver them out of bondage; and thus doth the Lord work with his power in all cases among the children of men, extending the arm of mercy towards them that put their trust in him." Mosiah 29:20. It's easier said than done (at least in my mind) but we need to do just that. Trust in him and pray humbly and He will be there to help us and bring us out of bondage. It may not be right away, and when he does take us out of bondage, it'll still be hard but like I said, He knows me better than I know myself. He will provide what I need according to what He knows is best. I will get married to that prince charming that everyone says will come along, I will listen to my heart and do what I think is right (with much prayer), I do deserve better than what I've been getting. Maybe this guy will end up realizing that he needs to work harder. And things happen for a reason-- even if things do ignite into flames.

Earth to Mary (yes, third person), things happen for a reason. "Pray for the strength to walk the high road, which at times may be lonely but which will lead to peace and happiness and joy supernal." -President Gordon B. Hinckley

p.s. if you haven't noticed, I packed my journal away. Maybe that was a bad idea. Thanks for listening to my bipolar-ness.

Sometimes...

I know that lately I have been on a rant about how life is good, don't take it for granted, just step back and look at the blessing you DO have.

Well right now, I'm going against everything I said. Quite frankly, life sucks right now.

Nothing has worked out in my favor this summer. I had such a good summer planned and everything has ignited into flames. I'm serious. Not a single thing has worked out.

Sometimes I just want to scream and cry-- fight everything that comes my way because I know it's not going to work out.

*warning: cliche girly talk here*

Then on top of that, someone I really like doesn't give me the attention that I strive for. People tell me all the time, you deserve so much more then him, you need to listen to your heart, when you're least expecting it you'll be swept of your feet by prince charming. I don't know about you, but that stuff does not help one bit.

I may have wasted my time on this certain someone but I don't regret one minute of it. I know it sounds fishy-- he doesn't give me the attention I strive for but I still want him? Yes. I do. I just need him to show me that he wants this more than he's showing. I know he wants this, he just shows it differently.

Like I said, nothing is working out.

Can I please run away to Fiji?

Wolverine Crossing Contracts (2) for sale

I'm desperate people!!

Jessica and I are moving down to St. George. Yes, it's official.

We need to sell these contracts or else we're going to be paying a lot of money to get out of it. I mean A LOT of money. So, please, if you know of anyone moving to Orem/Provo let me know and let them know that I have two contracts for sell that they could buy.

The apartments are super social and fun! They are cute and homey.

craigslist: http://provo.craigslist.org/roo/2445129008.html

ksl: http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=475&ad=16015333&cat=276

UVU: http://www.uvu.edu/campusconnection/classifieds/my-ads

Those are the places I've put adverts on. Please, if anyone is interested, let me know!

mwhite756@gmail.com

(435) 592-5067

Thanks! It'll be greatly appreciated.

Feeling Domestic?

So the last few days I have been craving something. I wasn't sure what this something was but finally figured it out. Banana Split. Not just any regular generic banana splits though. I remembered one time very vaguely my mother making banana split bites. Maybe it was a daydream of mine when I was younger that I wished often that it became reality.

Anyway, I found them online. This made me inflame in excitement (over this? yes.)!

This picture is just what I imagined them to be. Instead of the sprinkles I thought of peanuts.

Don't those look fabulous? Why I'm craving a Banana Split is beyond me.(Credit goes here.).

• Use firm bananas and cut into 1 inch sections. Leave the peel on for easy handling, and with a melon baller, dig a well in the middle of each banana section.
• Melt chocolate in the microwave and dip the bottom portion of the banana in chocolate and then dip it once again in either non-pareils or chopped peanuts. To quickly harden the chocolate, place dipped bananas in the freezer for five minutes.
• Fill each well with ice cream (I filled mine with vanilla chocolate chip) and top with whip cream and a maraschino cherry.

After I took a look at those beauties I decided I just have a sweet tooth. Chelsea Trunnell I'm secretly hoping you'll try these out since you seem to love to try new things in the kitchen.

I kept looking up deserts. As I was fumbling around I came across this. This website said that this is a great desert to make when you don't want to use your oven. It's summertime now so who wants to use their oven? Pft. Not this guy (me).

Now what are those? Those are Salt River Bars. I'm all about the sweet and salty so, yes, I indeed want to try these out.

1 box Club Crackers (actually, about 1 1/5 sleeves of Club crackers)
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup-ish peanut butter chips
1 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 1/2 teaspoons vegetable or canola oil
coarse sea salt

Those are the ingredients. Go here for the directions (too long to put on the blog- way too long).

Okay, this is the last one. I swear. I'm sure your taste-buds will thank me later once you try them though. This next one I introduce to you are called Peanut Butter Pretzel Bites.

They look pretty easy to make, right?

Ingredients:

1 cup of creamy peanut butter

2 tbsp softened butter

1/2 cup powdered sugar (maybe more)

3/4 cup brown sugar (maybe more)

Pretzels

1 bag semi-sweet chocolate chips

Again, go here for the directions.

So there is my rant for the day. Why I'm craving sweets so bad lately is pretty annoying. I'm trying to lose weight here. This craving is not helping. I just want to devour every sweet thing in sight. It's like I'm pregnant or something [that wouldn't make sense one bit ;)].

I haven't tried these but I sure want to. Like I said, Chelsea, I'm counting on you. I'm sure I'll get around to it sometime. I'm just in one of those moods where I want it made for me.

Please enjoy. And, please, let me know how they turn out if you end up making any of the three.

p.s. sorry about all the different fonts, colors, sizes. I can't figure out how to change it to make it all the same.

Listen...

So lately my life has been chaotically hectic. Yes, that stressful. I'm trying to sell this blasted contract of mine so I can move down to St. George.

Why would she do that, you may ask.

I hate it up here. Lydia (go check her blog out. she's awesome) told me so.

I'm so far away from family and I wont see them as much as I would like. Lydia told me so.

"I'm going to laugh so hard when you come back after a couple of months," says Lydia (when moving up here).

So pretty much Lydia was right. Why am I writing this blog letting you know she was? Well, she politely asked me to let the world know that I will now listen to my elders. Yeah, I will not listen to my elders in my life except one. That one is indeed her. She's wise and has good ideas.

Information you should know: Lydia's my big sister. She practically raised me as I was growing up. So of course I listen to her. She was pretty much my mothaaa.

I am pretty upset that I wont be working for Old Navy anymore though. I feel like every job I have up here is dreadful. The thing that I'm mostly upset about are the stellar discounts they had for us employees. Now that's over.

Anyway, I'm excited to move to St. George. I'll be closer to my sisters and nieces and nephew, I know I already like it, if I miss home I can just hop in the car and be there in 45 minutes, I'm excited to have one of the most beautiful Temple's near by... the list goes on.

I honestly think Lydia's more excited about me moving there though. She was the first person I told. Her response of the news: "WAHOOO!" As I'm wanting to jump off a cliff, though, she's just sitting there laughing. Hard. Not cool sis. Not cool.

So call me a baby, a wimp, or idiotic for moving up here and so suddenly and quickly wanting to move back to Southern Utah if you want. I wont care. I do what I do.

It'll all be for the best.

(shout out to Christina for reading this blog. She doesn't have a blog but she told me she reads them. how sweet.)

To you Lydia. If you would like, you can now say, "I told you so."

So fellow bloggers, blog stalkers, and friends. Listen to your elders. They probably do know more than you do. Lydia was right. Period.

As am there I will probably blog a lot more. I will be taking constant pictures of those adorable kids of hers and blog about what's going on down in San Jorge (I had to translate St. George into Spanish to get that).

Bye and thanks for reading!

Self-pondering...

What happens when I can't sleep? I start thinking. A lot. Don't you wish you could just switch off that part of your brain? Because I do.

My lovely iPod makes me think even more. Today I saw missionaries driving and I was thinking, they can't even listen to music [I understand why they can't]. I find that the time where I think the most. Like right now I'm listening to this song called Into The Light by In This Moment. Holy crap. Most depressing song ever. Even though, like I said, it's a depressing song I sit here and think about how blessed I am to not be afflicted with this torture. Listen to this song and you'll understand [I'm going to add that she has an amazing voice!].

Let's proceed. I think I have been here laying in bed after tossing and turning for an hour or so just listening to music. Conveying different emotions to the surface; sad, happy, angry, frustrated, motionless. Which led me to self ponder.

I know that I have already discussed the things I have to offer a few posts back. If you don't care to read any further... well don't. Because I'm going to sort of go on another tangent about it. Not particularly on what I have to offer though. Sort of on the same lines though.

Why don't I just get to the point already?

While listening to this music and thinking, I was realizing that I have been on a roller coaster of crowded emotions. So, like my optimistic self, what do I try and do? I try and figure out a way to deviate myself from it. I try and figure out a way to be content with myself. I don't want to be out of the world happy, I most definitely don't want to be sad, I don't want anger, frustration or any unpleasant feelings. I want to be content.

I sat here thinking about things that make me feel good about who I am.

• I'm a firm believer of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
• I'm independent.
• I'm mostly myself when I contemplate the scriptures and talks. Actually study them and learn more.
• I'm an example.
• I'm a good friend. Many tell me that I'm a good friend. I like to agree with them. I love to listen to people; try and help them out with anything they need.

So you all may be wondering, so what. She has all of these qualities. How is that possibly going to help her become content with herself?

Well I'll tell ya. Same order as the list above.

• The Gospel is my foundation. It's what keeps me sturdy. I'm going to surround myself with people who believe the same as I do. I'll marry the man of my dreams in the Temple and wont settle for less. I'll help people who have great potential return to the Church after they have fallen away.
• I hate to let people down when I feel like I'm the team leader but I'm doing things for myself. I'm going to go places with this. I'm not going to listen to the people whispering in my ear "I told you so" or "you should have listened to what I said." I will not. I will go alone and learn from my own mistakes and let you all know that it's all about the experience.
• I will make it a goal to actually study and dissect the scriptures and talks to learn more about what I already have a testimony on.
• People always tell me how great I am, how strong I am. Yeah, I have gone through a lot of stuff. That's how we learn. We learn from making mistakes and learning from each stupid move we made. So, I'm going to attempt to be the best I know I can be and have people tell me that I'm an example and someone to look up to. Conceited much? Yeah, maybe. Look up that word. It's not as bad as it sounds.
• I will be a better friend than I already am. I will stretch out my hand to any in need of a lift.

Once again, I'm sorry [I shouldn't be] that a lot of my posts have been about myself. That's the point of blogs though, right? Is to write about what has been going on in your life. That's what I'm doing. I'm truly understanding who I really am at this time of my life. Glad I'm 20 and figuring it all out and not 40.

Well goodnight, blog world!

Employed...

So you all know that when I first moved up here I got a job at Vivint. Also known as APX. At the beginning I was stoked to work for them. They seemed really fun to work with, the benefits were great and it was a fun working environment. However, after working there for about a week and a half I started hating it. I would work from 4-10 everyday (even Saturday's). I mean it's the summer, who does things in the morning? No one. It's always at night. Anyway, one day I woke up and Jessica and I were talking about how we hated working for them. We weren't happy. We wanted to come up here, meet new people, and have fun. Well long story short... we don't work there anymore. Thank the Heavens above. It was a great company and the home automation alarm was awesome. I just did not like working in a cubical one bit. I'm not that person.

So one Monday Jessica and I went to look everywhere. We went to strip malls, the University Mall, and applied to many places online. I first got an interview at Buckle. Again, not for me. It would be commission and I would stink at selling. Then I got a call one morning from Old Navy asking if I could come in for an interview. Uh heck yes I can. Another long story short... I got a job at Old Navy (so did Jessica! Different location but indeed at Old Navy).

I started yesterday. It was orientation. I'm excited to work for them. While we were doing paperwork we were asked to evacuate to the Fudrucker's parking lot for a gas leak. Scary huh? Yup. Then we when we got back into the store, the power went out. It was pretty funny I thought.

The most exciting part about working at Old Navy is that I get discounts at Old Navy, GAP, and Banana Republic. Oh yeahhhh!

Well just thought I would let you all know.

Another thing I'm excited about is that the first week of July, I get to go down to Cedar and then Soph's birthday is that weekend. Woot Woot!! My baby niece is turning 3!

Well have a superb day, everyone!

Cedar City...

So I have realized some things about myself living up here in Orem. Hmm quite a few actually... BUT that would turn into the longest post known to the blogging world. So, therefore, we'll stick to the one that I had in mind.

I am not a city girl. Let me repeat that; I am NOT a city girl. Yes, I know that I'm not technically in the big city like Salt Lake with the spaghetti bowls, gigantic buildings clustered together, and whatever else is in capitol of the beehive state but I am in Orem and that's close enough to me.

*Warning: Another list on the whys*

This is the list of things that truly testify that I am most definitely and probably wont ever be a city girl:

In good ol' Cedar City I didn't have to wait five billion hours to get to Wal-Mart when it was just right around the corner.

I didn't hear trains or cars on the freeway at ALL hours of the night [let me add in: a train is chugging along as we speak]. I was thinking a couple nights ago that I thought it was weird when I heard absolutely nothing at times in Cedar [usually at night time]... Hmm well I sure miss that. Constant noise here. It never stops.

I am very content with a standard stop sign and if I really feel like it, I'll get on Main Street so I can get my traffic light fix.

Then traffic itself. Oh my gosh. Can we all say ridiculous?

I hate construction. I will drop dead when the day comes that I never see a single orange or neon green cone on the freeway... or on any road for that fact. Plus, where is the State getting the money to do all of this?

I love stars. Cool fact for you guys; did you know that the stars we are seeing are already dead? It's quite complicated to explain it in a nutshell so I'll leave it at that. Anyway, I can't just look out my window to see stars anymore. And quite frankly, I miss it.

I'd rather smell cow manure than stinky polluted air constantly smothering me. And don't judge me for liking the smell of cow poop. It's a smell that reminds me of home. haha. Gross.

I get excited when all I see is green fields around me. I hate buildings.

I also get excited when I see the exit to Cedar City.

Oh yeah, trust me. The list goes on. Let me also add that this isn't a pity post. It's just simply stating that I am indeed a country girl. I'll represent Southern Utah till the day I die [even St. George-- it's nice to get away once and awhile].

Goodnight!

P.s. I'm not opposed to going to New York or L.A, possibly Hollywood. Just to visit. I'll never live there. This whole time I thought I wanted to move to California. Yeah, not happening. This is all about experience right? I'm excited to see what I have in store for me up here.

All Aboard!

So living in Wolverine Crossing is great. Tons of fun activities, you get to meet new people, it's right by the University, etc.

Well one night (one of the first nights I lived here) I was laying in bed listening to my iPod when all of a sudden my bed started shaking. I could have sworn we were having an earthquake. I text Jessica and asked her just for reassurance. It came to be a stupid train! I'm not joking. These trains come by at least five times throughout the night. Without fail, it wakes me up every. single. time.

You know what's sad? I used to love trains. In this blog, I talked about how much I loved the train ride I took in Durango, Colorado. I loved the scenic aspect of it, I loved the train drivers, I loved everything about it.

Yup. Not anymore. Thanks a lot stupid trains, thanks a lot.

I understand it's protocol or whatever but is it really necessary to blow that horn at all hours of the night? I don't think so. A girl Jess and I met here at the apartments said that we would get used to it. At this rate, I don't think that will ever happen.

So since living up in Orem I have grown to hate trains.

Just thought I would let you guys know :)

Goodnight!

What Do I Have to Offer?

Call me a stalker but I have been noticing that a lot of people's Facebook status' and blog entries have been really sad [I would be lying if I said I wasn't a part of this].

They have consisted of repetitive heartbreak, loneliness, self-doubt, insecurity, etc. The list goes on. It is really putting me in a mood where all I think about is, what do I have to offer?

I ran into a blog that talks about her fight through depression. It is the most inspiring thing I have read in a long time. You all may be thinking I'm nuts calling it inspiring, right? Well it really is. She blogs about her fight through it; good days, bad days, struggles, and success. She doesn't sugar coat anything. She loves herself-- and you can tell.

So back to the question that has been haunting me: what do I have to offer?

I have a lot to offer.

I'm a sister. I am there for them to offer my support and love. No matter the circumstances.

I'm a friend. I am there for all of them. To listen, to cry to, and to laugh to.

I'm an Aunt. I'm going to give my nieces and nephew the unconditional love that every child should receive.

I'm smart [not in a egotistical way]. One day I will earn that degree and help whoever I run into that needs me.

I'm funny. I will make it a goal everyday to make someone laugh. It's a great thing to do.

I'm domestic. I, one day, will make a man very lucky. He'll be proud to call me his wife.

I love love. I will love everyone I run into [sooner or later]. I'm a sucker for it. I love anything that deals with it.

I'm centered around Christ. He's an example. I am here to strive to be like Him.

The list could go on. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am who I am. If you don't like it... well then, I guess you don't like it. It's not hurting me one bit. However, I do hate when people don't like me. That is a goal I am going to try and succeed in; don't care what others think.

I'm not perfect. No one is.

Just know that, all, you are who you are and no one should ever change that. If anything, someone will bring the best of you out so the world can see.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

So Beautiful

Mosiah 4:11

"And again I say unto you as i have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of this goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel."

I know that's a long scripture but really read it.

Isn't it so good?

So I went to Temple Square last Saturday and it was blissful. I got a tour of the Conference Center by two amazing sister missionaries. They were awesome! The building was so beautiful. I couldn't get enough of it.

After we went to Temple Square, we (Jess, Kenz, and I) decided to go the the Cathedral down the street. We saw a tour group and thought we would just go with that tour group. Well long story short, we ended up sitting in Mass. It was an incredible experience. I was so confused by all they do. I think they knew I was Mormon :)

Both places were so beautiful in their own ways.

Here we are on top of the Conference Center with the oh so beautiful Temple behind us. I fall more in love with this Temple each and every time I see it.

This is the Cathedral that we went to. I think it's so pretty! They all had great respect walking into the Church.

I know this is pretty random but Jess and I got bored and decided to try different looks. I must say, we pull the look of quite well. I would never go out in public like that but it's good to do while you're bored at night.... right?

Well sorry for the negligence to the blog lately. I honestly have no life up here right now.

That's soon to change though.

I met some pretty interesting [highly annoying immature boys] people at the hot tub tonight.

Let's hope it gets better.

Goodnight!